B boy arrives

It all happened yesterday. We were in the hospital from about 11 and all nervous as hell. Mum got wheeled away for a spinal block and then Steve joined her and for the next 2 hours Heather (god mother) and I nail bit and paced. Well, read our books, watched bad TV and drank coffee, but same thing.

Then Steve came in to say it was all OK (boy did he look shaken and pale!) and walked us through to recovery. There was mum loking slightly drugged or just worn out and in shock, and there was baby in his humid crib, making squeaking wheezy noises as he breathed. Heather and I both started crying, the big butch nurse handed us tissues and we said all those inane things whilst trying not to blubber everywhere. The little guy kept wheezing and mum and steve talked about the moment when they pulled out the baby and held him up all covered in muck, from behind the screen that hid the action end (think gaping wound).

Then mum was wheeled back into her room with us in tow and baby stayed behind in the nursery getting his oxygen.

When we came back this morning he was finally in mum's room with the feeding tubes out and breathing without oxygen. Only this morning did she get her first cuddle, but when we walked in he was cradled in her arm and they both looked so happy. We all had turns holding him and it was lovely, just lovely as he held my finger and looked at me with one dark blue eye from the puffy smooth curves of his eyelids.

His mouth is wide and pink and looks ready to smile or shout or cry, his mini frown is ridiculous but serious, his one puffy eye still closed from the traumas of birth occasionally splits open and a dark glimmer shines out, like a wary pirate, like he knows we aren't yet ready for the fullness of his gaze.

B is for baby, is for brother, is for beginnings.

Quickie from Brisvegas...
Enduring ridiculous 'someone left the oven on' heat, walking the puppy, going to shopping centres for air con, wondering whether or not to go work OS (and having to decide toot sweet), rapidly adopting fashion for the tropics (mmm, aqua shoes...), adding new venues to the list, hanging out and waiting, waiting waiting. baby will be here soon - is so surreal!

OK so I have the hiccups and serves me right. Quick quotes:

"I'm so tired, excuse me for yawning, too many salutes to the sun..."
"What's that? A cocktail??"
Ha ha ha and I thoght I was the trashy one...

"My god, you're living on the farm!!" (in response to having a backyard in the Inner west)

Ok Ok so I'll bugger off and do something useful but just quickly I have to say who WAS the frontman of Soft Cell? Seriously he looks a lot like Pee Wee Herman and is possibly the biggest dork on an 80's video clip I've seen in yonks. BAD dancing. BAD miming. Like he cares what I think, I know. Whatever, I just had to share that as I was very disapointed to see what a funny little chicken he was.

Just to prove that they have a sense of homour I see that SBS has programmed 'Dancer in the Dark' for us tonight. Just what people sitting at home watching tellie on Valentines Day need huh? No thank you, I've seen it and bawled my eyes out already - she sings, she dances, she goes more blind, she dies in the end. I chose the 1941 corker 'Suspicion' instead which features Cary Grant playing Scary Grant and Joan Fontaine looking gorgeous in snipped waisted fuck off shoulder padded swishy dresses with huge sparkled broaches. Not a very good film actually, but nice frocks.

Valentimes

Any other sad bastards out there tidying their bedroom on a Saturday night? (not just any Saturday night of course but 'buy an awful long stemmed rose' day). When I say 'tidying my bedroom' I mean more like finally unpacking from the move at the end of last year.

Carried table up to the shed only to find it wouldn't fit so back we lugged it. All sorted now but has involved much rearranging and carrying of boxes, not to mention sorting of crap. I did my usual trick of thinking I could accessories myself out of a bad situation so instead of continuing the unpacking, I took a little break today to run off to the shops and buy organza curtains (better than they sound), candles and cheap CD's. Figured at least now bedroom would be *noice* even if rather hellishly hot and disfigured by a rash of jumbo sized moving boxes full of novelty winter coats. Yeah great, great thing to collect really, those coats... so practical in Sydney and so handy to move around.

Still curtains look great and I feel less like I'm living in a game of 'let's make a cardboard box cubby house'.

Now Sister d'you remember all of those lost days
All those crazy nights seem lost in a haze
But every new moment that's a brand new start
When you got the nature down deep in your heart
And as the mountains move on the winds of change
There's no fear of the end, when you've got the world
Running in your veins
Who would have thought Transvision Vamp could be so moody, so earthy??

Got record player working two days ago and have so far enjoyed Wham, Grace Jones and now Transivion Vamp. Got all excited when I realised there were two sides to records. (Yah, just like 2 disc set).

Covered in bites, I am welt girl. Thanks mozzies.

Someone sent me photos of WPC today - almost snorted it was so cute yet inappropriate.

Finally sent letter to Grandparents today.

Cassies collar stinks of toenail clippings.

Man up ladder keeps revealing himself as more and more well meaning yet incompetent - how to reconcile?

Time is ticking. People are moving away, people are dying, people are finding partners and going off the market. Things are changing - better do it all now kids.

Lip is still sore.

Well that sucked. Stupid date reminds me of why I hate this shit. He leant over me in the front seat of his car and kissed me so hard I thought my face would suck right off. I have a fat lip and a love bite and wonder how not interested you would have to be for a boy to actually notice. Is he brain dead? My lip is throbbing and I know it sounds lame but seriously you would have scrambled away as well. Forget it buddy, no call back for you.

Up your date

here's a date, there's a date, everywhere a date date.

stuffed dates.
sweet dates.
imported dates.

Yep, everyone's having them.

The last few weeks have been flowered with the heady scent of dating: elation, anxiety and analysis.

The bad outfit date.
The surprise retro give another go date.
The flies home tomorrow and keeps his socks on date.
The not really a date at all date.
The date cut short.
And now, the please can I not bump into anyone I know on Thursday night as I take the plunge with a virtual stranger after being egged on at lunch to send that text date.

Good luck girls. At the very least they'll be good stories right? Meanwhile I have my fingers crossed for no surprise ironed chinos, scary politics, love of airport novels or wife.

Ode to Mr Fish

We didn't know him long,
He couldn't sing a song,
But he could swim all day
It was good for feng shui.

He's now swimming free
Was he even a "he"?

A brief life came to its end,
On the cusp of full moon..

.. with one of the future's men to be born
And it won't be too long
Before we see him and hear his song
For many many moons to come.

Hey baby
My mum is pregnant and is due any day now. I can't wait until it all happens and I can fly up North to hang out and be part of it all. Mum is really excited and so cute about all the baby details. I think she's also totally ready for it to be born - hot, uncomfortable and waiting. Sometime soon I will be on the land of hospitals, nappies, meeting some tiny new human. By the time I turn 28 I should have a little brother or sister (brother they think) and will no longer be the baby of my family. Wow - just think, I will also get a stepfather, two stepbrothers and a stepsister should Steve and mum tie the knot. My family is growing and growing :)

Up in flames, down the drain
Sunday. Woke up later than should have and almost missed my lunch date. Feeling blissfully sparkly to start with until hangover crept up and took over. Feeling wretched now.

Lunch date was good, tying up loose ends from housesitting end of last year with a woman whose life leaves me gobsmacked. You know the people you know who have flawless filing for their bits and pieces, whose gardens flourish, who have always just been to an exhibition opening, who have every groovy kitchen appliance or power tool they may ever need, who go away for walking holidays in the swiss alps... or maybe you are one of those people. Anyway, I felt like a trashy, drooby, innefectual teenager in comparison. (in unison - no no really you're fabulous)

Oh anyway, back to my story, "down the drain". Fish #2 was dead this morning!!!!! What the hell am I doing wrong?? I have water, rocks, bubbler, plants and snails in there. I feed them every day! Starting to feel like some kind of fish murderer. When your time's up it's up?

Other news - almost burnt my kitchen down about 10 minutes ago. Heard a crackling noise and realised my toast hadn't popped and shit there were clouds of smoke and toast was charcoal. Oopsy daisy.

Also, project 'unpack all my boxes and tidy my bedroom' is half way through. Some boxes to go in the shed. Made so much mess in there I had to sleep on the sofa bed last night when I finally staggered in.

Oh my golly gosh. My first post from work. What next? Sneaking in posts before breakfast? Posting alone? Selling off household goods to pay for my internet connection? Declaring loudly that I can go for a full week without posting if I really wanted to??

Finally saw the final KnK episodes. "Everyone here is so self obsessed... am I the only one thinking about me??"

Otherhighlights for the evening were the very glam 'am I in a vogue mag?' apartment, Mr T showing off cooking prowess again and the very hilarious video we found in the machine thanks to the housemates. What was it I hear you ask??? Dodgy German porn? Ikebana classes for the cosy couple? No, think again.

Try, an instructional video for their new coffee machine. ha ha ha. Of course we watched it.

"Wait - this bit where they clean the nozzle is really sexy!"

What is it with February??? And January too??? Some innate desire to start the year on a trashy note? To run through the list of social 'to do's' in one fell swoop to free up winter for nights on the couch? Is it summer? Is it lifestyle? Is it living in a big city?

Wholesome Sunday arvo at the museum degenerated* into me stalking cute shaven headed person with nice shoes and violin case around the bug exhibits and then racking up pubs for the list and finally drinking bloody mary's with some awful sly stallone (huh! almost wrote sty salone - a nice drag queen name perhaps?) film flickering in the background at the grey plastic chair haven which is the Mandarin Club. Recommend for Sunday karaoke - is totally empty downstairs, cheesy as all hell. Thankyou Sunday night self for totally disregarding Monday morning self yet again.

* Oh. Possibly me and M laughing at the case that said "With a noisy 'pop' and puff of vapour from its anus the Bomalier Beetle fends of its enemies" did not help prospects with bug enthusiast.

Off to go see wildlife photography at Aust Museum this arvo. Turned down dj set for sheet set last night - mmmmm early night.

Also saw 21 grams (yah they had choctops this time! Last trip to movies was disastrous in that respect). Was it just my hangover or was that one film that needed quite a lot of concentration to work out what timezone events were happening in?? Hint: just keep focused on where Naomi Watts hair is placed on the blow dried / lank spectrum in any given scene - keeps you on track.

Well done to a certain soon to jetset friend who booked his ticket today. Dam your EU passport for letting you leave us indefinitely!! Dam Lauda for agreeing to take you!! Sydney will be less fun without you.