keeping ourselves nice

My dearlings with sensitive delicate constitutions. Someone unburdened to me recently the heady risks that plumbing depths of blogs (including this one!) pose - the unexpected reveations, the 'too much information' that sometimes slips its little self into otherwise quite congenial texts. I take on board the concerns, indeed was aghast to have contributed to a state of overinformation. After all a little honesty can go a long way these days. I suggest as a precautionary measure that all potential readers of this blog (and others)subscribe to the following safety measures:
- read through partly clenched eyes (like how one might approach a scary bit in the movie that one nonetheless does not wish to miss)
- read only every second or third word. Any rude bits or overly personal divulgences will be rendered into surrealist poetry. This could in itself cause offence to some readers, but at least is culturally high brow.
- keep a magazine about frocks and celebrity relationships handy as antidote to any overdoses in information that one might inadvertently indluge in. Open to page 4 and read quickly and deeply about Ange/Katie/Oprah/ourNic/ourNaomi's baby/birthplan/husband/weight/exhusband problems, noting their footwear and hair style and wondering idly whether uggboots are smart casual and then ...exhale..all information will be safely purged
- assume for the sake of proprietry that everything written here is gloriously and archly ironic, or failing that, highly metaphoric, or an exercise in post modern fiction written by a *character* who is *real* writing about writing about a character who is real, or at the very least assume that anything approximating actual truth is nonethless emboidered... in this way there will be no residue of anything which could offend, as all will be revealed as illusory; artiface.

Failing those very prudent precautions, I really have no advice for you dear readers. Just to agree that yes, the terrain is risky, and to apologise in advance should anyone slip through the thin ice of polite content and fall - arms flailing and beanie askance - into the icy dark depths of too much information.