Things not to say at work (Part 1)

You say:
“So this morning – I woke up with my head on someone’s shoulder!”
(no response – blank, slightly worried looks)
“Well, like this far from someone’s shoulder”
“A stranger’s shoulder..”
“Who luckily was asleep too”
(still nothing)
“..On the train, when I woke up – I was resting on a stranger who was also asleep…”

They say:
“OH! Aah. I thought you were telling us you had news”

You say:
“Oh noooo! No, no. On the train – oh God, did forget to say that bit?”
and cringe and slink away to kitchen to make tea.