Sick

and having a day off. Went to post office as a way to make the day seem more useful. And to get sunshine into my bones, air on my skin. Bumped into date boy. Oh. He said. Oh hi. I said. He said 'it's a small town.' I said 'I'm sick'. He said 'you're sick?' I said 'yes' - firmly.

'Did you get my message?' I asked. He said yes. Neither of us then said anything. I said 'It would be good to catch up again sometime, it's just...' He said 'oh well, what about tomorrow night? Or Thursday?' I frowned and said 'well, no, I don't feel well. Maybe the weekend?' We were interrupted by him being served and having to sort out issues to do with parcels. I jump back in after I buy my stamps, and he is still there one bay over, but waiting for the staff member to return, and say 'I'll call you' taking advantage of the fact that he's stuck to the counter and that I've finished first and can leave. 'Oh ok, he says', a bit flustered. I think fuck it, I'm not well. I have frizzy hair and dry lips and have missed a zillion important meetings to have the day off, you can just deal with it if I'm not chatty and I don't want to see you tomorrow night. I leave thinking this town is way too small anytime you don't want to see someone. I leave thinking maybe this is all a bad idea still.