Act II

(language warning, adult themes..etc)

She says ‘the distance between here and here is meant to be how long your cock is.’ She demonstrates. She says ‘fully extended.’ She takes his hand and stretches out his thumb and forefinger and says ‘so yours would be… 5 inches.’ As if she’s reading his fortune, telling him some mystery he would not already know. I notice that he doesn’t say anything. I feel uncomfortable at the possibility that she has just described accurately the dimensions of his pride and joy. I say, ‘so is this how big my cock is?’ and laugh. No-one else laughs. She says ‘the width is the distance between these two knuckles.’ ‘Yeah but you know, size doesn’t neccessarily make, you know, a good lover’ I say, hoping to sweep the conversation up and carry it off onto greener pastures. She says ‘oh god no. Most men with giant cocks just shove it in and don’t know what else to do.’ I sense the man at our table easing up slightly. ‘My old man’s cock is so wide I can barely fit it in my mouth’ she says. ‘small, but wide.’. We all sit in silent recoil at this image. She says ‘but you know what they say: “if it’s little throw it back. If it’s medium, eat it. If it’s huge, mount it!!’ She laughs and raises her eyebrows encouragingly to conjure up a laugh. She says ‘It is meant to be funny. You’re meant to laugh’. The two men look uncomfortable and I smile weakly to compensate.