what doesn't kill us..

...makes us stronger?

I did a scary thing on Friday- sent some writing in to a 'thing'(thing being not a competition per say, but to a writers centra that offers several week live in fellowships to successful candidates). Have never done that before. Was rather petrifying. Just compiling the pieces into one spot and getting ready was a bit scary but mostly a delight. The actual posting the actual thing into the actual post box felt hyper ridiculous and terrifying. It was like deciding at my Monday team meeting that the temperature was a little hot, so spontaneously stripping down to my knickers and then doing a little nudie dance on the board room table. That's what it felt like - slightly absurd and very intimate.

But goood, right? Good to extend out into the territory of what doesn't quite feel comfortable, good to feel a little nervous but do something anyway. And anyway, Monday's meetings can be so boring, maybe a little knicker dancing wouldn't be such a bad thing.

___

Also, on the topic of brave things, rang date boy and told him that my life is really too busy to fit in much else. But in a nice way. We may still go see punk bands together on occasion. I was very relieved to make it clear that this wont be a regular, frequent thing. I look forward to not getting weekly phone suggestions to catch up which I have no hope of fitting in and really not all that much inclination to prioritise over catching up with sleep /family / old friends/ hobbies / hanging out with my cat time /housework. Feel like it was a mini breakup but we only ever went on one date!! Maybe this is the danger of dating people in their late 30's(I think he's 38) - the settling-down clock ticks quite loudly.

Mind you he is a genuinely nice guy if anyone out there is interested(hmm, perhaps I am more in the market to match make rather than be match made?). For example, he has a sick chicken at the moment so is giving her a hot water bottle at night. How sweet is that??