Blog as

A while ago Mermaidgrrrl told the story of someone whose blog she had been reading who she then met in RL only to discover that she was nothing at all like she expected from her written word. I think she was all chirpy and green online but all serious and quiet in RL, or maybe it was the other way round, whatever, you get the general idea. And this leads me top reflect on what relationship the blog has, or can have, to the space that we take up as people. Blog as a mirror of all our salient interests and amusing observations - kind of realist portrait? Blog as expression for the highest highs and lowest lows that we filter out from expressing in person lest we seem overly passionate and badly calibrated? A Blog as a rose coloured lensed version of ourselves - a constructed cartoon us - airbrushed, thighs lengthened, ever so much more hilarious and popular? Or vessel for the odd bits and pieces that just need a home at that moemnt you happen to touch finger to key pad? Which sound like idle wonderings, but I think make interpreting the blog as text ever so much more nuanced. If it is mirror we assume that the writer is on highs and lows only in line with what is written - the unexpressed is unfelt. If we take it as their secret repository for cranky tanty and joyous outpouring we leave room for the fact that in betweeen posts the writer is buying cauliflowers, going to the movies, thinking dull things, wondering about haircuts, reading books, scratching their nose, having crushes, doing all the minutae of life. If rose coloured lens we note with a kind smile all the unspoken admissions that could be made, all the self adulation that sneaks through the written word, the seeking afffirmation.

What is my point? I'm not exactly sure, I was just wanted to note that as well as some very exhausted days of little weepings and wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life, and stressing over family Christmas plans and feeling all sorry for myself that I am single and petrified of being in a relationship so not likely becoming unsingle anytime soon, the last few weeks have had good stuff too. Random nice moments in no particular order including some very good nights sleep on my new bed, a surprise parcel from MrMC featuring lovely hand made things from European markets and some lovely words about creativity, some good books read voraciously at airports and in hotel rooms, some nice little house chats with my new housemates, a lovely trip to the art gallery after yum cha with Betty Sue, BSharp and the Angelic miss A.. (draws breath)..getting a deleriously cute handmade tshirt at markets yesterday, seeing a good flick, walking through dark streets on warm nights, my cat curled in a tight ball, some silly beer-fueled philosophising with workmates until way too late after forgetting to eat dinner, new music, a music shop attendant with zany facial hair telling me 'you're cool man' and approving at my rather random selection, some frank and supportive emails exchanged with my mum, MMG and I finally catching each other on the phone, some sillliness leaking out at work, the spark of flirt in someone's eyes as we say good bye on the street and the flutter of hope as I ponder possibility, the laugh of old friends over lunch, tickling Mountain Spice's baby's soft little feet as he pulls strange faces and gurgles, watching I Heart Huckabees for the second time and laughing lots... and so on. As ever, lots to be grateful for.