my Neptune transit made me drunk

Mystic medusa posted recently on the wonderous opportunities for astro-excuses: "using my Neptune transit made me drunk, I'm obsessive about you because of Pluto, Uranus made me broke but I am soooo fulfilled...Saturn made me MEAN. Mercury made me indiscreet. Venus is why I'm into what you call slutty but I see it more as sacred sexuality...Anger problem? It's my Mars transit. Jupiter made me fat." Made me laugh.

My most recent favourite lame-ass mental excuses that I occasionally wheel out are: where I live ('oh I'm on mountain time', and 'I'm beyond fashion - I live in the mountains'), my line of work ('oh I don't need to know the details, I'm a transdisciplinary systems thinker'); and my ever shifting sense of my own character ('it's ok that I'm messy - I'm highly creative', or 'it's ok that I'm ridiculously pedantic about pointless details sometimes - I'm thorough') not to mention the wide range of excuses my star signs lend me (Introverted? wafty? hopeless romantic? daydreamer? Pisces you see. Bossy? Extraverted? opinionated? How could I not be - I'm a Fire Dragon in Chinese astrology).