Away, again

Can you see how going way begins to feel like work and staying home feels like fun?
Away again, for work. Not complaining about being here – agreed to come, and is in all likelihoods one of the most beautiful places I’ve been in ages – ever? How can one small city have so many wonderful things tucked away in its outskirts?
But here I am. Slightly upset tummy, acidic, from plane food. That unsettled feeling when your soul hasn’t quite landed even though your body got here hours ago. That empty waiting of a hotel room. Watching television on bed drinking tea. Why is it that doing anything alone in a hotel room seems so sad, so desperate, so lonely?
I feel out of sorts. A mix of things that all make me slightly anxious – a weekend of intimacy and proximity, a plane trip, random self recrimination for not having got my life shit together better. Anxiety about the work stuff. I feel teary and it’s not even before my period.

I did a radio interview today and was worried I had come across like a nodding, laughing puppet – please like me, please let my answer be OK.

But it is so lovely here - maybe I will relax into it.