Worried what your brothers friends mothers might one day say

Separation is a theme that is arising these last couple of days. What keeps people together and how do you know when it's time to go?

Someone I know is with someone that I would never live with in a million years. Sorry, would live with if just housemates, and in a big house with seperate wings, and barely sharing a kitchen, and if he paid half for the cleaners. But not as a partner, definitely not a partner. But how much are these things personal and how much universal? Should I tell said person 'Dude, I think your hubby is dud. Seriously. You could do a zillion times better. Leave and get yourself your mojo back, leave and let him work out his *issues* on someone else's time. Those kinda temper tantrums are best left to 2 years olds, so why not move on' ?

But there's lurve, and there's habit, and there's comfort zones, and there's fear.

I have another friend who says we stay where we are till being there is more painful than moving on, which sounds kind of negative, but in some instances makes a lot of sense to me. Dynamic, punctuated equilibrium.

I remember my last major breakup, it was awful, but one of the really interesting things was everyone's response to the break up.

"You can't ever possibly get back together with him or I''ll disown you"
"You just never know how things'll work out"
"You'll probably smooth things over, these things happen, I've dealt with worse in my relationship"
etc.

Everyone had an opinion, it was hard to feel your way and know what was the 'right' response, what was the perfect mix of Cosmo 'yougogirl' self determination, and forgiveness, and flexibility, and staying true to your own feelings etc.

No point really. Just a musing.


[Clare Bowditch and the Feeding Set – Divorcee by 23]