Sounds like...

Went to the pub last night with a friend from work and met some of his friends there. Alway nice to do that, despite that brief fleeting moment where you go 'oh but what if they are all far too cool for school and think I'm boring and I don't have anything to say to them and I feel like a dickhead?'. They weren't, they didn't, I did, I didn't - so, glad I went. Got quite drunk and silly though, I forget that cloistered life in the mountains makes one ill equipped for keeping up with the Eastern suburb pub-goers. But anyway. One very funny story that I had to share* with you went as follows:

[friend of friend]:
"So last week I was in this bar, singing, and as part of the deal you get free drinks right? So there I was in between sets, drinking down the free piss, and everytime I went to the bar I was checking out this really hot bar man."
"Now, he was really gorgeous, and as the night went on, and I got drunker I started flirting with him more and more. Finally, later in the evening I said:
'What's your name?'
He said 'Rico'
I said 'nice name'"
[and here in telling the story she acts out the way she said it, with a bit of a smouldering smile, just the right amount of droopy lidded shoulder raising and sideways look to make her intentions clear]
"So HE said 'what's your name?'
And I said 'Virginia'
And he said 'nice name' [With very similar weighty significance behind his words and a nice smouldering smile]
And then I said... [she laughs]. No wait for it, I said: 'Sounds like 'vagina''."
[To which of course we all snort and moan in horror]
"Yes, there was a light in his eyes that died when I said that - completely went out. That was it, all over".

So remember that next time you make some horror unthinking statement at work or Fruedian slip on a date - and ask yourself "Is it really worse than 'Sounds like vagina?'"

*NB I don't smuggle the stories of friends from RL into blogland without permission, as a general rule, so immediately said to the girl 'That's hilarious, I'd love to put that on my blog - do you mind?' To which she said 'Oh no, that's fine, just change my name.' One beat later she realises what she's said and laughs and says, 'no that's fine, go ahead.'