Lovely box of chocolates

So, imagine that you have begun to explore the world of ‘internet dating’. A misnomer really because it’s not like you want to date Google (well actually google’s pretty smart, I might like to date google), or just have ‘dates’ online, in virtual reality (though with second life I guess that’s an option – where you really would have reason to complain that your date was kind of two dimensional …. Ugh, sorry). No ‘internet dating’ refers to internet match making ‘let me be randomly assigned strangers or trawl through a billion thumb nails of people to choose possibly compatible ones’.

I have been doing this for little over a week now and feel like I have experiences almost all of the possible array of interactions, short of actually talking to someone or meeting them.

For example. My first message from someone on the site was to see whether I’d like to be bound in ropes and participate in certain activities involving his pink bits and mine. ‘Tick’ I thought – not as in yes please, tie me up, but as in ‘here we go, my first classic overtly sexual message from a complete stranger creep with control issues’. I felt like it was an experience I’d been half expecting on the site, and I had it out of the way 5 minutes in.

Next was a few contacts with demure, sweet seeming boys which eventuated into periodic messaging. These fellas asked about my day and asked after my health. Discussed books with me, and were frank about their weekends, and were as gallant as any knight in shining, LCD, armour.

More recently I had my first clear (but hip and not creepy) ‘I’d go you’ style reference within an otherwise chatty-and head flirty but not boudoir-flirty conversation (though – see google reference above, we know the two are linked for me). I did ‘a sharp intake of breath’ like the books always have in them but you never really do. I did that. As I reread and thought ‘did he just mean..? Oh yes, oh yes he did’. And then felt a little bit rosy and pleased with myself. And maybe a little bit interested.

And there’s one, who I’m embarrassed to admit, I seem to have slightly pissed off, by reading his information too quickly and responding to his message hastily and getting certain key facts about his life wrong. Whoops.

This myriad of experiences and variety of people. I am currently having to remind myself that it’s probably a bit like a box of chocolates. If you’re being handed the box, they all do look lovely, and different, and sweet and you kind of want them all, a little bite out of each – but generally that is seen as rude, and in fact the person with the box might get the shits and struggle to get it back from you, and taking the orange creams just because you feel sorry for them because no one else seems to like them probably isn’t such a good idea, and also other people might come and nab the chocolates over your arm, as you stand umming and aahing over the little explanations and photos of each, and actually the chocolates might get snooty, and or you might end up not knowing which one you want.