bug killer

I hit a bump on the detox path yesterday, fell over, bumped my head and woke up in scary opposite world: retox! Lets just say that after an exhilerating start to the day of waking up just before sunrise (as per my plan) and flying out the door to go watch sun rise over the valley for a full hour at the stunning viewing spot near my place, I got home feeling really awake and alive (not my usual state for 7am). I had a few hours work ahead of me and thought 'great, all I want now is a nice pot of coffee!'. Then remembered my no caffeine 2 week plan, then thought 'Hey F it, I can if I want - I'm running this show', felt all naughty and in control of my coffee fetish. So made a pot. Started out with mini plunger then got impish smile and thought 'in for a penny in for a pound' and made a big plunger instead. Making it of course a decent strength. Plan was to sit over a long period of time from my lovely little blue tea cup (thanks Aunty B you know the ones). At desk for a few hours and then thought I should stretch so went into room and did some warm up yoga poses - all going well, all very alive and awake feeling, very productive etc. Then... stood up. Big mistake. Think clutching at dresser, sick in the stomach feeling, oh dear am I going to faint or puke, I am so dizzy feeling. Now of course first thought was to blame raw foods, wonder if I'd had enough for breakfast, think I'm dying of sickle cell anaemia or similar (of course). Felt VERY unwell, as in 'oh oh, something is wrong here' magnitude, especially as the dizziness was not the fleeting stood up too fast kind, but lingered with waves of nausea as I walked around. Had a very dizzy shower where I concentrated on my toes a lot to distract from sick in belly feeling. Went out and ate a big solid lunch and hoped for the best, but felt vaguely concerned all arvo.

That night spoke to Mountain Spice about it - she who does not drink coffee ever since an unfortunate early drinking misadventure with a certain coffee flavoured liquor - and she confirmed that caffeine indeed can make you feel very sick in the stomach and want to puke. See, she often drinks just herbal teas and after that when she has even a strong black tea it turns her stomach. Bloomin heck, who would have thought it? I realised that although not a coffee a day girl even, it is very rare for me to have had a whole week without even a black tea, so this is posibly the first time I would have been that decaffeinated and actually noticed. I wont go on because I fear that I'm starting to sound a little bit like a vego mung beany Brigitte Jones but I was just so amazed to feel such a strong reaction in my body (especially when actually feeling nauseous is such an uncommon feeling in my otherwise pretty healthy system).

So there you have it. Will this stop me from ever drinking the dark joe* again? Hell no. Will it make me a little more aware of how it makes me feel - you betcha. I am suddenly very respectful of those little red berries chock full of 'Fuckoff and don't eat me please bugs' alkaloids which we have peversely taken a liking to. And anyway I'm kind of into the green tea ritual now, waiting for the leaves to fall to the bottom of the cup and not get in the way as I drink.

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On a completely different note, tentative good news on job front. One more step to go (as in ref checks) and if all goes well with that likely to be offered a possie. Protracted process to date due apparently to government/uni-ish environmnt in which possie is housed - budgets, sign offs etc. Then again realisticaly it's only been 1 1/2 wks which is nothing for bureacratic box ticking processes. Meri Risa your sage comments on uni processing times seems to have been spot on!

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* But only Fair Trade Organic for home. There is now a good range even at crap middle of rd supermarket chain, so I figure I really have no excuse. Can be about $2 more per 250g, but I figure isn't it better to have less, pay more and appreciate it? Meanwhile those extra couple of dollars can help support better agricultural practices and fairer distribution of profits to primary producers. And, I know there are arguments from the purists about how Fair Trade is only tokenistic because while one group of farmers and their families might be gettting a better deal and improved lives, the farmers producing the 90% (or whatever) of the volume of the worlds coffee sold as not-fair Trade, are still getting shafted and living in abject poverty. And this is true. But I figure surely it's better to do what we can and hope that the rest of the industry will gradually be shamed/inspired into lifting its standards? That's my landing on the matter anyway.