Tips for living # 1 - in the office

5 things you probably shouldn’t say at work even if you think them:

- sorry, I need to keep walking as I only came past your desk on the way to the toilet and I really need to do a poo, so this long conversation is not really what I had in mind

- that project was a nightmare and I can barely bear to look at the report again yet. Really I hate it. It makes me squirm just to think of it.

- are we done? I’ve said everything I want to say to you and heard everything from you and now I want to go to lunch

- shhhh. Don’t introduce yourself like that. Can’t you see she’s annoyed because you’re doing all the talking, and lecturing her, and telling far too much detail and not asking what she does. Can’t you see? Oh no! Now you’ve asked her about her background and then talked over her before she’s had a chance to answer properly – mate, you’re fucked, she’s never going to hire you now.

- can I go now? I haven’t really done any work today anyway because I feel all weekendy and excited about my day in the studio yesterday, and my to do list, and I want to go to the pub